Oh why hello there! I’m so surprised to see you here! Well, not really surprised, I knew you would come by these parts one way or another. You know me of course, I’m the Grand Arbiter Ptolemy Hargrave, Master of the Tea Duel Ceremony!
Wait… you HAVEN’T heard of me?! My handsome face isn’t seared into your mind from some previous encounter?! I am not someone you spend nights awake thinking of finding once again? Well that’s disappointing. We will have to fix that.
I am Grand Arbiter Hargrave, First and Only. I am the Master of the Tea Duel Ceremony and the Final Word on any and all tea dueling matters. If anyone else tells you otherwise they are fabricators with bustles aflame. My job is to provide commentary and historically relevant insights into Tea Dueling events working along side my essential other, Madame Askew.
Unlike my partner Madame Askew, I am more of a home-body rather than an adventurer spending time with my consorts and friends in my Flying Fortress of Self Indulgence. It’s a tacky name I know. However, I can’t refuse a request from Madame Askew and as such I am often dragged into her vortex of “interesting” life choices.
I love Tea Dueling, seeing two titans of personality wage personal vendettas against each other is ALWAYS amusing. I’m obsessed with games like these! The way we attempt to use logical and emotional pitfalls to crush our opponents, it gives this old Arbiter a flutter in his heart.
Now it is getting to be late and I must get my beauty rest or I will look a wreck for my next event. I hope to see you there! Maybe even as a Tea Dueler yourself! I would love to pin a nice fancy award on you. However, not to be distasteful, but I’m a notorious flirt, so if you are sitting in the front row it’s possible I’ll even give you a wink. ;)
[Ed. Note: Too true!]